The Day Before

Just one day left of my forties. I pray to Almighty God that my fifties will be better. I've been thinking about that SNL sketch Debbie Downer and I think I may have authored it after all. Can someone grab their 'head writer' and interrogate her about that sketch? My memories have been returning to me along with the restoration of my old work. Last night, I recalled how one of the CBC staff used to call me the 'bad news bearer' because I was always in a sulky mood. (Gee, I wonder why.) I am known to occasionally poke fun at myself through my characters, which may have resulted in my invention of the pessimistic Debbie Downer. Doesn't this name strike you as my work? Doesn't it fit well with other characters of mine, like Mindy Meek and Betsy Beech? [11:29am:] Well, the Safeway loves Madonna. They just play the shit out of her songs when I go in there to buy a crumby little bag of groceries. I wish I hadn't heard so clearly that Madonna went to prison last year. That's why I turned against her, quite naturally. But I guess Safeway supports her crimes against me and against truth in music. Or maybe she owns the fucking chain. She has more money than me so she's allowed to commit ghastly crimes with my songs, go to prison, and then trample all over me as soon as she gets out. Some great democracy. But I'm telling the truth here, and imagine if I follow through as I say I will. Imagine if I gain the respect that these other 'stars' have been getting for my work and I prove that I can perform well. And imagine if the world fell in love with me and I became the biggest star on Earth. What would I say if someone asked me then about playing a show in Vancouver? I'd be able to look back on days like today, when I endured a jarring insult for merely needing to buy groceries, and respond with the words, 'they don't need me, they have Madonna.' Or maybe I could say 'they have Nickleback.' Or something of that nature. [5:07pm:] Who says birthdays are childish? I don't normally make a fuss over my birthday, but it is personal. Do you see how personal this televised attack was that took place behind my back? That Dateline show sounds like an episode of This Is Your Life and it all took place behind my back. And what about my music? It's personal. It comes from my heart. And look what they did to me with it. They've turned my life upside down. They've mocked me and humiliated me with it. For Christ's sake, do you think I wanted my songs to turn my life to shit? Why do I get blamed for this disaster? Can't these broadcasting assholes grow up and take responsibility for their crime? I've suffered enough at their hands. Do you think I wrote my songs so that I could avoid women? The industry fights dirty and they have women. The prettier they are, the more lethal they are. I can't trust strangers right now. Nothing against women. I didn't write my music to make enemies out of women, but that's what happens when the dirty old business wants to pick on you. They use their women against you and it forces you on the defensive. I don't think people really love stars all that much. They just let themselves be absorbed by music or TV and it could be anyone's face on there. It's also commonly known that some stars are corrupt. They fall for their own illusions and think themselves infallible. I've noticed that they may be insecure about their talent and that they want to be poets. I didn't want to be a poet, myself. It's not the kind of job one dreams of. I would rather have just been allowed to author my music and my blogs in peace.
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