Sunday, September 20, 2015

Inside Source

Inside Source
It is only because my faith in God has been such an asset to me in sustaining the onslaught of so much evil that I end up promoting it in my blogs. If I had the same attitude as the ones who've been attacking me for the last ten or twenty years, I would not still be around to discuss it on the internet. My faith has been a moderating influence on my behavior, which leads me to regular self analysis and self criticism. Last night, for instance, I considered my words about that band I posted yesterday, the one that was forced upon me as I sidestepped production trailers along my normal route home from the library. I felt a little bad about bashing them if they were innocent, and if that is the case, I'll make it up to them somehow. On the other hand, if they were not innocent, I may have been too light in my criticism of them. It got me thinking about good work's source, which too many of the industry workers who surround me see as being external.

Since the apparent success of my 2007 music posts on YouTube, I have been treated by a certain gang of production workers as though I were a Bonanza Creek to be raked clean of all its glittering contents. They have attached themselves to me literally as vampires, for they even drew blood from my arm to use as contract ink when I stumbled blindly into their workplace seeking part-time employment in 2008. They look for Heaven in me when the Lord said that the Kingdom of God is within. I draw my musical celebration from within myself, which is what makes it so authentic and original sounding, in spite of belonging to a long exploited genre. I am artistically talented, which charges my work with an almost supernatural power. And this intrusive concert, which clearly had their participation, struck me as somehow tapping into this hard won power of mine and draining it to promote a mediocre sounding band in my place.

The charm of a good work is deeper than its sight or sound, it is the love behind its creation. Love is an act of giving, not of taking, which is why good work must come from within. To draw it from an outside source is to take, not to give. If you are not an artist, you would know by exploring your own heart, and you would stop wasting time pursuing something that is beyond your reach, or worse, which would bring you public embarrassment or even incarceration. I envy others who are free of the problems that my talent has brought me. And yet, most of these difficulties were caused by the envy that others had for me.

Does anyone in show business believe in God? Apparently not among those who pursue stardom. If you believe in God, you don't need to have everything now before you die because you expect that God will still be there for you at the end of your time here. If you believe in God, you dismiss the fleeting glories of this passing world and pray for eternal salvation. If you believe in God, you love your neighbor. Well, that means that I must say a prayer now for these crazy workers who have made the last eight years of my life so excruciating. I pray that they will gain hope from the knowledge that salvation is still possible. I pray that they will find the true Heaven that waits for them in their own hearts. No, I don't hate them. They're so adorably lost. I pity them, and in some inexplicable way, I feel almost responsible for their welfare, maybe because they talent like mine for their jobs. To the Nasco whores, I'm sorry about that rhyming wrath. I was in a lot of pain over my recollections of past Christmas celebrations when I wrote it. I hope I didn't hurt you too much with it, especially the innocent ones among you. I don't consider it a poem, merely a blog post, and exclude it from my poems index for that reason.

God bless you all.

Technical/Legal Note: I had to paste the contents of this post onto a new page this morning before I could successfully publish it, which is why its URL contains extra characters to distinguish it from the original. It seemed like someone or something was otherwise interfering with my publish function.

  
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