SNL Is Full of Balogne

Did everyone get a chance to read my Balogne Bulletins yet? They're getting new and fresher as time and experience allow me to add more to my past efforts. I still haven't quite overcome the fraud committed by Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update because they stole so much from me, but I'm going to keep trying to post these types of reports every Saturday until I am well into new territory. Could someone explain how my Balogne Bulletin is funnier if some hateful shit like Amy Pohler reads it in front of a camera? Can't you read it for yourselves? In fact, can't you get more detail out of reading it than you would from having it spoon fed to you by a greasy fraud? Take the example of my little joke about web porn. The word 'undercover' might slip by you if it's given to you orally, diminishing the laugh you might get from it. I don't want to stay long in this library, where today I must sit near another laughing twit staring at some stupid web page on YouTube, so I'll be brief. Where do I get my Balogne Bulletins? Mostly from my life. I'll give you a some examples from my most recent Bulletin. The joke about a PR firm getting an author charged with crimes against humanity comes directly from the public relations effort that has clearly been undertaken by crooked stars to destroy the image of the honest artist who exposed their crimes and demanded their punishment. It's probably new. However, the joke about the storm proof umbrella came from seeing my umbrella getting destroyed by a strong gust of wind and considering what might have happened to me if it had stayed intact. We get that kind of weather here annually, so I might well have shared it before. The same is true of the last three paragraphs of this post, which all center on issues of particular interest to me. I've always been interested in information about environmental pollution. I recently viewed a documentary about chimpanzee test subjects, though it might have caught my eye back in 2007. And, well, my women readers know that I am capable of enjoying them on a non-physical level. I hope I can start limiting my posts to maybe one or two per week without having to suffer more false accusations of being incarcerated. I guess I'll have to talk to some lawyers about that and about some of the other problems I've been having that I shouldn't be having.
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