Hitless Wonders

I woke up this morning unable to suppress my rage. I found myself howling in protest over the way I have been treated by these evil fuckers on television. How are those Seal fans out there? Do they think I should give Seal back 'his hit'? Oh, so he had a hit with the song I wrote for my mom when I thought she was dead? And you Seal fans think he deserves to keep it now that she just died? Well, maybe Seal shouldn't have fans if they're going to be so fucking INHUMAN. Those mind altering broadcast signals must really fuck up people's heads when they're loaded with stolen intellectual property. That must be why it's illegal. You wouldn't know it was illegal to steal songs when you look at the enormity of the fraud committed with my work over the last ten years. You'd think that stealing my work was the gateway to public acclaim. And then the stars are caught and punished in prison and the media hides it from us. They'll do the same thing when the misled fans of these bogus stars follow in the footsteps of their idols and go to prison themselves. It's not safe to trust your TV or radio. Back in early 2010, I was hearing a lot of talk about how I never wrote a hit. Let's line up all the stars who stole my songs and see which one of them has written a hit in the last ten years: Seal, Nickelback, Beyonce, The Crystalids, Taylor Swift, The Rolling Stones, Oasis, The Shards, Coldplay, Madonna, Leonard Cohen. Seal is such a superstar, right? Did he write any hits? Beguiled? No, I wrote that. Bad News? No, that's mine, too. Okay, how about Nickleback? Fool's Paradise? No, I wrote that. Beyonce? No, I wrote Under My Umbrella. The Crystalids? No, I wrote all one hundred of their songs, including Size. Taylor Swift? I wrote Spellbound, Special, Respect, Dignity, and any other good song she unlawfully claims as her own. The Rolling Stones? No, I wrote Nothing but Ashes. Oasis? No, I wrote Fortune. The Shards? No, I wrote Virtue and Lifeless. Coldplay? No, I wrote Canopy and Fool. Madonna? Whatever that gibberish was that she was muttering onstage here in 2008 was probably one of my works, though she did have some limited success with that song she crooned in 2007 about 'drawing her picture.' Leonard Cohen? No, I wrote Buck Henry. So what are we left with here but a bunch of hitless wonders that the TV wants to peddle as stars so it can make money. And is it normal for people to hate and abuse authors of their favorite songs? CBC, is that normal? I guess after you guys had such a good time celebrating my mother's death with Seal since 2007, there's nothing left for the poor dear now that she's really gone. You think you know it all but look at you now. I warned you in 2007 not to use that song because I wanted it for my mother when she passed on but you arrogant twits know it all. You think your silly little jobs are more important than anything else and you can't even do them right. You broadcasters are lucky that music offers me an outlet for my feelings, otherwise I'd be dreaming up some way to drive by your headquarters with a Ryder truck packed with explosive fertilizer. But if you keep twisting my passion around with your crimes to provoke malicious hate from your audience, I might just stop writing and start bombing. I can see what is at the root of these horrible mass murders you're so fond of reporting to the world: your evil, lying, manipulating, criminal broadcasts. You turn decent people into monsters and set them out to destroy themselves by attacking their own favorite authors - the ones who have the courage to call their attention to your outrageous behavior. None of your 'stars' have any balls. They're mostly a bunch of boring wimps who only know how to suck corporate cock. The only reason anyone thought they were cool was because of your support of their greasy fraud with my work. And I, for one, won't 'forget' about it until I have my way with all of you in court.
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© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.