Should Old In-Patients Be Forgot

NEXT BLOG: Chaos and Cartoonery. I'm going to close this blog now, even though I probably have more leftover works to restore from the past. I've run out of room on this one. I'll start 2016 with a new blog called Chaos and Cartoonery. Hopefully, I won't have too many more old thoughts to repeat in the new year.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery/Dumb's the Word

Does anyone recall how I tried to assert my ownership of the Austin Powers character with these cartoons in 2007? I don't think I drew too many of them but they turned out pretty good. I'll have to play around with them a little more. This one has the same type of hand lettering I used in my originals. I picked up the style from vintage concert posters on the conveyor belt of a paper recycling plant in 2005. Then Mike Myers picked it up from my pocket. Happy New Year anyway.
Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues Lyrics Poems
More Scripts Statements Songs
© 2007, 2015. Words and images by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

The Balogne Bulletin

I felt that ground tremor last night as I worked on this. We get a lot of them here, which may have caused me to share a similar post before. Just check with Saturday Night Live's seasons spanning plagiarized content of the last ten years. Those criminals did not author a single word of my thousands of scripts. Today on the Balogne Bulletin, since 12:01 am, a lengthy ground tremor, convulsive enough to topple a house of cards, has thrust local seismologists in the limelight. Asked if it indicates approaching doom, they said that they must first fly elsewhere to look at the problem from a distance. I.T. giant Microchip is adding two thousand skilled workers to its payroll for its compound in the Nevada desert. Their job will be to use company software to do their jobs for them. The boost in cushy jobs suggests that the economy may be overdeveloped. However, homeless addicts continues to complain about methadone shortages. An aluminum door was bent and two workers injured at a peanut butter plant by a rampaging elephant that escaped from the zoo. The two ton 'Daisy' is safely back in captivity after she slipped on the way out and fell into the path of a high caliber tranquilizer gun. A landlord wants legislative changes made to allow him to more effectively terminate the leases of his deceased tenants. Without it he fears that his units will grow too haunted. And on the eve of New Year's Eve, an innovative writing utensils concern offers a new product to help us keep our New Year's resolutions: a pen filled with disappearing ink. Happy 2016.
Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues Lyrics Poems
More Scripts Statements Songs
© 2007, 2015. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Grave Misunderstandings

I better clear up something else for those Seal fans who want Seal to have the song I wrote when I thought my mom was dead. Is that my stupid mistake, Seal fans? How are your moms? Do you want the whole explanation now? Okay, you asked for it. Bad News is the title of an e-mail I received from home on two occasions. The first, in 2007, bitterly criticized me for causing my mother stress and ended with the phrase your mom is dead, to indicate that she was exhausted. And stupid me! I thought that when I was told that my sick, eighty-one-year-old mother was dead that she was really dead! What an idiot, eh? And where would this e-mail be now? Gee, I think my e-mail address was david147@telus.net back then. So Telus would have that old inbox. You know, Telus, the ones with that commercial with the cute little critter against the white field. They wouldn't let me reopen my old e-mail account in 2008. I bet Seal enjoyed it. As for myself, I have an identically titled email with similar content in my current inbox at g-mail to explain the inadvertent reappearance of Bad News to me. When you have someone crooked working on the server side like that, imagine the possibilities. They can take all my praise and shower it all over one of their personal favorites. They can give the illusion of my popularity to anyone they want just by steering all the gratitude in their direction, away from me. I better get to work on my little summary of my recording year in my chronology of my recordings. Does anyone ever read that? You can see the dates of my new recordings, which I have listed online with my lyrics, my name and my copyright notice so that you can tell when some new prick has come along to try and be the next Crystalids.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Hitless Wonders

I woke up this morning unable to suppress my rage. I found myself howling in protest over the way I have been treated by these evil fuckers on television. How are those Seal fans out there? Do they think I should give Seal back 'his hit'? Oh, so he had a hit with the song I wrote for my mom when I thought she was dead? And you Seal fans think he deserves to keep it now that she just died? Well, maybe Seal shouldn't have fans if they're going to be so fucking INHUMAN. Those mind altering broadcast signals must really fuck up people's heads when they're loaded with stolen intellectual property. That must be why it's illegal. You wouldn't know it was illegal to steal songs when you look at the enormity of the fraud committed with my work over the last ten years. You'd think that stealing my work was the gateway to public acclaim. And then the stars are caught and punished in prison and the media hides it from us. They'll do the same thing when the misled fans of these bogus stars follow in the footsteps of their idols and go to prison themselves. It's not safe to trust your TV or radio. Back in early 2010, I was hearing a lot of talk about how I never wrote a hit. Let's line up all the stars who stole my songs and see which one of them has written a hit in the last ten years: Seal, Nickelback, Beyonce, The Crystalids, Taylor Swift, The Rolling Stones, Oasis, The Shards, Coldplay, Madonna, Leonard Cohen. Seal is such a superstar, right? Did he write any hits? Beguiled? No, I wrote that. Bad News? No, that's mine, too. Okay, how about Nickleback? Fool's Paradise? No, I wrote that. Beyonce? No, I wrote Under My Umbrella. The Crystalids? No, I wrote all one hundred of their songs, including Size. Taylor Swift? I wrote Spellbound, Special, Respect, Dignity, and any other good song she unlawfully claims as her own. The Rolling Stones? No, I wrote Nothing but Ashes. Oasis? No, I wrote Fortune. The Shards? No, I wrote Virtue and Lifeless. Coldplay? No, I wrote Canopy and Fool. Madonna? Whatever that gibberish was that she was muttering onstage here in 2008 was probably one of my works, though she did have some limited success with that song she crooned in 2007 about 'drawing her picture.' Leonard Cohen? No, I wrote Buck Henry. So what are we left with here but a bunch of hitless wonders that the TV wants to peddle as stars so it can make money. And is it normal for people to hate and abuse authors of their favorite songs? CBC, is that normal? I guess after you guys had such a good time celebrating my mother's death with Seal since 2007, there's nothing left for the poor dear now that she's really gone. You think you know it all but look at you now. I warned you in 2007 not to use that song because I wanted it for my mother when she passed on but you arrogant twits know it all. You think your silly little jobs are more important than anything else and you can't even do them right. You broadcasters are lucky that music offers me an outlet for my feelings, otherwise I'd be dreaming up some way to drive by your headquarters with a Ryder truck packed with explosive fertilizer. But if you keep twisting my passion around with your crimes to provoke malicious hate from your audience, I might just stop writing and start bombing. I can see what is at the root of these horrible mass murders you're so fond of reporting to the world: your evil, lying, manipulating, criminal broadcasts. You turn decent people into monsters and set them out to destroy themselves by attacking their own favorite authors - the ones who have the courage to call their attention to your outrageous behavior. None of your 'stars' have any balls. They're mostly a bunch of boring wimps who only know how to suck corporate cock. The only reason anyone thought they were cool was because of your support of their greasy fraud with my work. And I, for one, won't 'forget' about it until I have my way with all of you in court.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Old Stars Fear New Talent

The banks are still closed but the good old public library is open. I'm back for more HTML work to make my lists of violations of my copyright more effective. I may compile all of them into one long list for legal reference, but first I have to be sure that I'm caught up with all my old posts. Did you folks hear about this new indy hit on the internet? I did. I guess that's because I don't watch the lying TV and I can't be manipulated into supporting bums who want everything for stealing their best songs and laughs. I'm glad that the Vancouver Sun told me how Seal gave Justin Bieber his big break. That explains a lot. I don't think Seal helped Bieber out of any desire to nurture new talent. If Seal thought Bieber were that talented, he would have stolen Bieber's songs. Seal doesn't help anyone but Seal. He helped Bieber because he wasn't intimidated by Bieber's talent. He only wants to help musicians who he considers to be his inferiors, in order to preserve his own unjust position as a star. Who else did Seal help to sail past me on YouTube since he stole my music? Beyonce? Did Seal 'discover' Beyonce, too? Or was that Madonna - shortly after she made sure I couldn't recall any of my old songs by spying on me as I innocently worked on her production in 2008? And did Madonna 'discover' Seal? How much has it cost music lovers so far to indulge this obnoxious need of old stars to stay forever in the limelight? You see that it cost rock fans several hours of some of their favorite radio songs. And if you removed all of the plagiarized content from almost every network in the last ten years, there would have been nothing left to look at but dead air half the time. But Saturday Night Live didn't fear the talent of that goof who stole my Christian blogs because they knew he was a fraud. As for me, well, they've made me very sorry that I ever shared my original humor on the internet. Unfortunately, it's too late to go back in time and keep my authoring genius to myself, so I guess the wicked broadcasters are just going to make me suffer all the way to my grave. If they could do it to my poor old mother, I'm sure they can do it to me. Is Seal in a cell? Did someone drag him into a cell and punish him for his offense? You'll probably never find out from broadcasters who hide hit songs from you. That's all right, you people out there know what you like. You don't need the stupid TV to tell you. I better hit the soup line before I get back to work. What sumptuous meal did Mike Myers enjoy today? I hope he chokes on it and dies. [1:01pm:] Feel a little less light headed now. By the way, I actually don't need to eat in soup lines anymore for any other reason than to avoid spending my meager disability check. I'm halfway to the amount I need to achieve my aims. I've received some feedback from a relative about my Christmas poem, calling it a nice tribute to my mother. I think of my last song post Bad News as an even better tribute to her. My mother was a very warm, positive person. She always smiled for everyone and wouldn't hurt a fly. That's why Bad News is such a happy sounding song, even though it's about a very sad experience. Seal deserves to have every bone in his body broken for stealing such personal property from me. Time to get back to work on those links. I'll start with the notice at the top of Trimming of the Shrub. See all those Saturday Night Live violations? And do you see how many hundreds I've added to them since 2013? Maybe the networks can forestall their inevitable downfall by shunning my questions in their broadcasts, but when I put people on the stand and ask them my questions in court, if they 'plead the fifth' to avoid admitting the truth they're too fucked up to face, it won't impress the judge and jury. In closing, let's hope that corrupt stars like Seal lose their privilege of deciding who the stars of tomorrow will be. Otherwise, the quality of music and comedy is just going to get worse and worse to protect their fame.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (Pilot)

Here's an old cartoon from 2007 I never got a chance to share - or maybe I did briefly. But the stalking creep who swiped my sketchbook probably shared it on behalf of his idol Mike Myers. If anyone wants to fix Mike Myers's face so that it conforms more closely to the character he stole from me, please feel entitled to do so.
Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues Lyrics Poems
More Scripts Statements Songs
© 2007, 2015. Words and images by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

On My Mother's Grave

Did CBC actually like that abomination that Seal made out of my Bad News? That song is supposed to open up a new, positive sounding style of metal. I would call it heavy metal prozac or something. And then Seal takes the guitar out of it and clutters it with a pretentious sax solo, making it sound like something you might hear on the lounge of the Loveboat. What an ass. Someone should twist that saxophone around his neck. What are the newspapers saying about Seal now? The last I read in 2009 was that he discovered Justin Bieber. Yes, there was a story in the Vancouver Sun talking about the first legitimate internet star and how Seal showed up on his doorstep and spirited him away to Georgia for fame and fortune. So the ass who steals my songs and commits fraud with them is responsible for choosing the new stars? Well, I guess I won't be getting any breaks from him, eh? So I'm 'illegitimate' because the fucking prick that stole my music won't help me? Isn't the corporate media afraid of starting a mass crime spree by brainwashing us on behalf of their fraudulent stars? I guess they expect that the only crimes it will cause will be more commercial fraud committed by new 'stars' against me and my work. Yeah, that's right, FRAUDS! They were only trusted because I was trusted. And I was trusted because I don't bullshit people. This latest exposed crime says it all. I liked Bad News when I first wrote it. I didn't want to erase it, but my mother was still alive and I didn't want to bullshit people with my music. Seal's the one who wanted to bullshit everyone with my songs. And the corporate media wanted to bullshit their viewers with my work. Well, I won't have Seal's crime making a mockery of my mother's memory now. I'm looking forward to playing this song for Dot when I get onstage and there better not be any God damned confusion over who wrote the thing. Speaking of FRAUDS, from my limited knowledge of Mike Myers's movie, I can tell you that I also created the characters of 'Me' and 'Mini-Me', I thought of the bazooka bras, and if it had a comical doomsday machine in it, I created that, too. I also coined Goldmember for a James Bond parody of my own. And my original draft of the Austin Powers character called for 'Buddy Holly glasses and bad teeth'. That was before I developed it a little further for my cartoon, which I look forward to soon sharing with you again. This blog is getting full and will have to be closed soon. I've been telling you the truth every day now for the last six years. I'd swear it on my mother's grave. Take a look through my statements and see the kind of life I've had to live because of all the FRAUDS on TV having your trust with my work. [2:06 pm] Merry Christmas, by the way. I'm not trying to spoil your Christmas. Look what I've offered for Christmas this year: a poem, two songs and some amusing dialogues. I want my work to make people feel good - like the way it made them feel when the TV was telling them how great it is. I just had some Christmas snacks courtesy of my benefactors who run my building. Very nice. I just need to round up those violations now for my typical notice at the head of my blog. You know the one. I think I'll take Christmas off and do a little cartoon drawing. However, I'll keep this blog open for inevitable relevant additions.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Ghoul

I've been hearing Seal's name around me a lot in the last couple of years in connection with all these violations of my music, but it took my latest song post to help me recall his crime from my own experience. I wrote Bad News prematurely in 2007 after a poorly worded email from home misled me into thinking my mom had died. When I found out she was still alive, I erased the song from YouTube. That's when the business wants to party with my music: when I erase it and they can give it to their dirty, creepy stars to use for fraud. In 2007, shortly after I was tricked into erasing my Blogger account - a trick I will not fall for a second time - I clearly heard Seal ripping off Bad News on CBC FM 105.7. My mom's still alive and there's Seal celebrating her death. What a ghoul. Is Seal a family man? How unfortunate. I bet his wife secretly has the hots for me. I bet she has to close her eyes and pretend he's me to enjoy sleeping with him. I hope someone puts Seal and all his crooked gang of star friends and media helpers in a prison cell for Christmas. Then maybe I can celebrate the holiday for the first time in eight years. Glad I got all the offenders' names together in my profile. I'll add his to the front of the list this morning. [3:12 pm:] I'm back in the public library central branch to add the theft of Bad News to my list in my lyrics index. Look at the names on there. Are they the same ones that the media have been trying to build a big Christmas party out of this year? Do they want their crimes to be forgot and never brought to mind? I don't blame them. They sure are an evil, despicable lot. I can't believe they're allowed to stand in front of cameras. Those broadcasters are immoral. And they've got people here pointing the finger at me and saying 'look at him all alone, ha ha.' Yeah, go party with Seal. He's got my fucking song. Why should I get anything for it? You broadcasters are outrageous. I'll just pick up a few DVD's on my way out. I'm glad I don't watch TV or listen to the radio anymore. It probably gives people nightmares.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Bad News

Seal did not write this. And these are more or less the same pictures I used in my short lived 2007 post of this song. This original style of presentation has probably been copied a few dozen times by now by all those 'creative' members of YouTube. Tribulation seizes my full attention Slipped in with items of ordinary mention Takes a bit of bad news Find out what you had to lose But at least you know that it's the truth Dwelling on the troubles that once were hated Learning and experience underrated Disabled by the moment Want a tighter hold on it Keep it from concluding far too soon Sweeping tides of change Enter the bitter season Bare the whole wide range Where trees stood before Folly to exchange Randomness for a reason Remnants left to gather Washing up on the shore Little way to make the day any better No instructions followed straight to the letter Could be that the frightening Turns out more enlightening Once you go where you never thought you would Takes a bit of bad news To be the one who had the blues But it makes the best time to be good
Lyrics Poems Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues
More Songs Scripts Statements
© 2007, 2015. Words and music by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Dead Serious

Pretty good effort on that last poem, I think. Only needed a few small touch ups this morning. Mom loved tragedies that end happily and I wrote it for her. I used to send her poems. By the way, I'm doing just fine with accepting her passing. It can be quite overwhelming when you first get news like that, which is why I wasn't sure if I would need some time off from blogging, but I see now that life goes on and you just make do with your new circumstances. I bet that guy who walked by me the other day and said 'sick', implying that I was lying about my mother, hoped that my loss would be so crushing that I would stay offline for a while and let him go around and falsely accuse me of being in jail again. How many times have these pricks falsely accused me of being in jail now? Wow. You'd think that maybe the law could step in after their first offense and clear them from the streets when they cause so much extra torment to an already wounded victim. I doubt he checked with my relatives back home or with my mother's parish priest, Fr. Ballard, a former schoolmate of mine, before he got busy spreading his hateful, malicious lies. And I'm sure he wouldn't check with my sister-in-law because she works for the police and he's probably afraid of the police. How did these miscreants get to the point where they reflexively lie about me to the whole world on a constant basis? I bet CBC and NBC and WEA/Warner and HBO and Comedy Central and MTV could answer that question easily. Just look through my indexes and see how many hundreds of my poems and my songs and how many other thousands of my posts they've illegally broadcast as their own content in the last ten years. Those lying fuckers who want to add to the grief of my mother's passing now have already told thousands of lies about me to clear the way for years of ugly broadcast fraud. Way to go, broadcasters. See the way you party? That's why I'm glad I'm not with your gang. And are you as afraid of the police as the liars who tacitly work on behalf of your crooked programs? As usual, their lies are stupid. They think people tell lies about their parents to get sympathy. Maybe that's what they would do, but what's so tragic about my mother's death? She was eighty-nine years old and in constant pain. I think her continued suffering was more painful to me than her death. While it's sad to lose such a reliable source of love and warmth, it's hardly a tragedy after she lived such a long and fruitful life. My dad is eager to join her company. And why would I expect my readers to run to me with open arms now after having my heart torn out in front of them by this crime and being left alone to defend myself against the animals in this crooked business for so many years? No, I've learned to live without such sympathy. Oh yes. What is frail, police? Is that a place where you're in jail when you're walking around free on the street? Sounds pretty pointless. If it exists, it must be where you put the all the culpable production workers in this wicked affair. There sure are a lot of undesirables cluttering our streets nowadays. The government saves money by dumping them on the poor instead of incarcerating them. I think that if we can't afford to build enough prisons to clean up our streets, maybe we should build some labor camps in the far north to make up for it. It would sure give me a break.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

The Eloquent Pair

Two born on the eve of the snowy Yuletide Whose first pleas for warmth were by mere moments spaced Whose mothers beheld them with joy and with pride Like beacons of hope in the strange world they faced The first to a kindred of long-standing roots In opulent splendour, to ample acclaim The second in modest surroundings as suits One starting out life with a commoner's name Towards advanced goals was the privileged one steered By which words do the working, rather than hands As the son of a tanner was the other boy reared Where he might have to yield to a few more demands To invention the firstborn applied the tuned string Though his progress lay irksomely shrouded in doubt A great deal could be made with the notes he could sing But he had not the fingers to let it all out The nimble subordinate's needle and thread Zigzagged through leather at dazzling speed But his capable hands could not get him ahead For more joyful pursuits, to be free of his need War came upon them, stern and severe Sweeping them off to commensurate ranks As a medic, the humbler stayed to the rear While his opposite bravely commanded the tanks As approached the next Yuletide, by a shattering rebuff With the shells raining down, the tank captain was struck The medic responded adroitly enough To recover the wounded for the fight against luck The wounded went right away under the knife Of the doctors who offered the peak of their care From the outset they knew they could salvage his life But his poor smashed up arm was beyond all repair Among the recovering, he soon was aware Of the cruel dilemma this Christmas would bring As a one-armed composer with new work to share With what instrument would he make his songs ring? At his side stood a visitor, following through With his duty to see to the health of his case And the strains were more lively from his point of view On the battered guitar he had brought from the base The great virtuoso transformed the sad lot Inspiring his captain to lift up his voice And the eloquent pair from performing ceased not Until even the beds in the ward would rejoice Two born anew in an unlikely place As masterful makers of glorious song Perhaps smiled upon by miraculous grace May their acquaintance be pleasant and long
Lyrics Poems Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues
More Songs Scripts Statements
© 2006, 2015. Verses by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Insufferable

I recall another prominent paragraph from my last posts in 2007 when I felt helpless against the fraud that was being committed all around me: 'the game is rigged, folks...' I've added it to the lengthy list of George Carlin's plagiarisms. Imagine him passing himself as being on the side of his fans with words he stole from me that were probably originally about him and his fucking crimes. What an ass. Oops, looks like I almost forgot to include that hilarious line I first shared about pet peeves. What kind of half-assed lie are the countless people who derived their living from committing fraud or helping to commit fraud with my original work using to explain my freedom to add more and more to this account after they told everyone I lied? It must be a really stupid one, but it would still be believed, as long as it was supported by the broadcast industry. So if you hear a really ridiculous explanation as to why I've never been arrested or incarcerated, maybe you're talking to another one of the cowardly culprits. The way the TV drums up sympathy for criminal creeps and leaves their victims in the cold is truly horrible. Poor David Frum: his mother died twenty years ago. Poor, poor Mike Myers: his father died in 2006. So he should be allowed to steal my creations and spin them into billion dollar movies for himself, right? Well, you tell that thief that I didn't want to make a cartoon series out of Austin Powers, but I'm going to do it just to seize possession of my character from him and his illegal movie. Merry Christmas, asshole. You know that these bad broadcasters don't think very much because they don't want to face the terrible truth about their crimes for even a second. If they were capable of thinking about this at any length, they'd realize that my work comes from suffering. That means that if all these glorious stars need to steal it, they don't suffer enough to produce work of equal quality for themselves. Their idea of suffering is having to wait in line for admission to a smart restaurant. Poor them! You better go help them to feel better. Fuck their victim, right?
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Are You Reading This?

I've added more examples of statements I erased from my 1999-2007 account that ended up in George Carlin's HBO standup routine to my recent statement entitled George Carlin's Plagiarism. What does Bill Maher think about them? Does he think I'm lying? Why doesn't he tell the police to come and take me to jail for committing web fraud? Has he been broadcasting any clips of his deceased friend ripping off my blogs in the last five years? I'll be visiting with lawyers to find out if he has. And I'll be taking severe action against him and his show if he's trying to keep his friend's memory alive at my expense. Bill Maher wants you to think that the police just let me go online everyday and reclaim more and more of what used to appear on television as the copyright protected property of corporations. He thinks no one believes me. If that were true, I'm sure I'd be dead for falsely accusing so many popular stars of filthy fraud. No, I think my argument makes quite a lot of sense. I'm alone and Bill and his buddies are just a bunch of predators who attack me because they think I'm weak. And by their cowardly character assassinations and evil fraud, they've managed to keep me alone through this whole ordeal. I could use a phone right now, but if locals listen carefully to my post of Friend in Need, maybe they'll recall hearing its chorus playing on that Telus TV commercial back in 2008 - twenty times a day. So if you can't trust the phone company, you just have to do without a phone. And you won't find out that your mom died until a week later. Does Maher think I'm crazy for saying I heard voices? Dateline should play that show for them about stars who knew they were going to be big. Sid Caesar was among the stars interviewed. He looked up to heaven and said he heard 'the celestial choir'. Why was this news in November 2007 and 'crazy' now? And does anyone recall that web musician they invited on there? He was big, all right - for five minutes! Dateline took care of his star, eh? Poor fucker hung himself after going on that show. I'm glad I didn't make the same mistake. I still have a future. Oh, and Bill, how did I know that that musician killed himself in 2009? I just know, that's all. I can't explain it. And my faith in God is very similar. Are any of these greasy TV shows still ripping me off? All we have to go by is what I've already rewritten. I don't know about you, but I heard a commercial on the radio promoting Nickleback with the chorus of Fool's Paradise right up to the middle of 2014 - just before I inadvertently rewrote it and re-posted it. So whatever good content you might find on the TV shows I've accused might very well just be something else I shared in the past. Does the Georgia Straight remember the past? Like that 90's cartoon I sent them with the title Who Ripped Me Off? If the media is just going to keep burying the past, why should we pay any attention to them in the present? I received my first putdown as a motherless person this morning. As usual, it was from a total stranger who recognized me in the street. So I guess I'm not going to get any breaks from these kind of people, no matter how tragic my circumstances might be. It seems to be more important for a bunch of manipulating broadcasters to avoid admitting their fault in a huge and grotesque crime.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

The Balogne Bulletin

Today on the Balogne Bulletin, a medical miracle: a head injury causing over ninety percent brain loss has left a pharmacist without any noticeable change to his functionality. He claims that he no longer needs his brain because he knows his job by heart. The government wants us to get comfortable with closed circuit cameras and listening devices. They say they can't be sure of our acceptance until public transit offenses rise to pre-installation levels. A military force has landed on a uranium rich island in the North Pacific to assure the safety of a mining operation. Satellite images reveal a colony of giant, fire breathing reptiles there. On our own shores, a regular beach visitor offers his novel hypothesis as to what caused the ancient flood. He thinks that the mythical lost civilization of Atlantis developed sophisticated climate control technology and that the gears of their machines must have somehow got stuck in the 'rainstorm' position. And the Christmas rush is on for the last moment shoppers down at the Central Mall. Stores expect the greedy, grabby, pushy mob to set a new record for buying thoughtful gifts for loved ones.
Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues Lyrics Poems
More Scripts Statements Songs
© 2007, 2015. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Merry Christmas After All

I made myself get back to work on my new recording yesterday and it was a very wise decision. It's an uplifting tune and listening to it as I worked on it cheered me up. I'll see if I can get it finished and post it after the holidays. That's a time when people need a morale boost. If it made me feel better, I'm sure it will work for others. I'm sure that some of my readers have come to count on me for at least a weekly smile in my scripts. In fact, this tragedy has helped me with my comedy writing. I generate more new ideas when my personal suffering has grown to absurd levels. I felt so good after working on my song last night that I went ahead and started penning my next Saturday Balogne Bulletin. I doubt I would have lived this long without my sense of humor. It seems I'm not as destroyed as I imagined. One door has closed in my life but another has opened in its place. Now I'm free of the guilt of causing my mother stress with my edgy lifestyle. I don't feel bad for her. I'm sure she's with her favorite man now, the Man from Galilee. The possibilities of the afterlife are truly wondrous: learning mystical secrets, meeting with deceased friends and relatives, partying with angels, etc. I think she's happy. And if she's happy, I'm happy. She would want me to keep trying, especially with my music and poetry, and that's what I'm going to do. So Merry Christmas, after all. I'm going to try to finish up my Christmas poem that I was going to send home and share it with you instead - hopefully on time. It's off to a pretty good start. And I almost forgot to thank my readers for their amazing prayers on behalf of my sick sister-in-law. Her last test results showed a miraculous recovery from cancer. She keeps me informed of my dad now. Bless you sweet people.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Burning with Loss

Feeling better after a fourteen-hour sleep. I always wondered how I would handle my mom's passing. I knew it would be tough. In fact, it's kind of like a radiation burn. You don't feel it at first. It takes time to see how all the areas of your life have been affected. It's probably going to take a while to really get over it. It might help to distract me if I had my own children, but apparently the TV thinks that only people who steal my blogs and songs should be allowed to raise families - and boast of it afterwards. I was in the middle of recording a new song when I got the news. It has that decadent sound I've been developing in songs like Epitomes and Denial. But I haven't started writing the words. I hope I can keep them appropriate. As for these PRICKS I've been hearing about who want to make sure you 'still hate me' with my mother dead, I don't think you ever really hated me. If you hated me the way they so desperately need you to hate me, since they are too insecure about their creative talent to compete with my work, you would have rejected my music and blogs from the beginning and I wouldn't have had to spend the last six years recovering my original work from their crooked TV shows and their crooked performers. How's Dateline? Have they got on the phone to tell any helpless old ladies that their sons are going to be rich and famous lately? My mom's in the ground now. Why don't they join her for another pointless conversation? [Dec 18:] Oh, they didn't get on the phone and lie to my mom? Well what were two of my relatives doing on their show when I didn't know about it? Didn't they sort of try to get permission to talk about me on TV from my mother? That's illegal. They're supposed to have my permission for something like that.[End of insertion.] I'll be taking some time away from blogging every day, but I'm still working on new things and I expect to share a lot of new work in the years to come. Just don't panic if I stay offline for longer than twenty-four hours. I'm probably just busy at home.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Good Bye Dorothy

You only get one mother in this life and she is precious. What a loss. The only woman who ever sang Happy Birthday to me. I can't sleep. I've lost my bedtime storyteller. And I feel so bad for my father. This is his very worst nightmare realized. Don't be too hard on me for the stress I might have caused my parents. I'm creative and I can't help writing songs and poems and things. My work was stolen and misused and I am now forced to defend my honor. I'd rather not have to share my unpleasant facts with the world. My mother was religious and I think I made her happy by returning to my faith. I also sent her the poem I dedicated to her (The Servant) and she liked it very much. She's at rest now and I hope she made it to the glorious Kingdom of Truth where she can celebrate her son's integrity. It sure beats this place.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Time for a Break

I just received a jolt from my email. My mother passed away. This has truly come as a shock to me, since I was sure she would live into her nineties. I haven't checked my e-mail very much this past week so I didn't find out about it until now. I'll be all right. I just need a some time to myself to think about this. Don't worry about me. I'll be praying for my dad and my kin.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2015. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.