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(A commercial garage. Ernie friends struggle to pull him out from under a Buick.) Mechanic: One more time! (With a combined effort, they succeed, thrown off balance and landing uncomfortably.) Ernie, I think its time you did something about your hips. Ernie: I can't help my bone structure. Mechanic: With the right tool, you can fix anything. What you need is the Downsizer. (Ernie in pyjamas, lies on his back and fastens his ankles and wrists to a metal mattress.) Voice: Straighten out your profile as you sleep with the all new Downsizer, guaranteed to reduce unsightly posterior protuberances by as much as fifty-five percent! (The garage. Ernie works under a car, visible only from the hips out.) Mechanic: (crouching) Ernie, how can you see what you're doing on your stomach? Ernie: What do you mean? I'm on my back. (The other turns and is astonished to find Ernie's toes pointed up.) Voice: Tuck your embarrassment somewhere else with the Downsizer. |
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| © 2007, 2015. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
The Downsizer
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