Le Miscreant

As the good bishop slept, escaped convict, Jacques Shellack, low on cash, stuffed a silver candlestick holder into his sack and crept off into the night. He did not make it far before he was apprehended by authorities and dragged back to face his victim. Policeman: (holding up the shiny ornate object) We found this man with your property! Have you anything to say before we take him to the guillotine? Bishop: My good man, don't punish him. I gave it to him. Policeman: You gave it to him? Shellack: There, you see? What did I tell you? And he also said I could have the silverware! Isn't that right, Monsieur Bishop? Bishop: The silverware? Oh! Well, I guess so... (Shellack pulls open a drawer and empties it into his sack.) Shellack: And what about that time piece? Bishop: I suppose I can do without it... (Shellack pulls the clock off the wall and adds it to his cache.) Police: Come on, you! The bishop has some important prayers to say! Shellack: Wait a minute. Monsieur Bishop, how's about a little something to whet my whistle on the way to the pawn shop? (He opens a cabinet and seizes a wine bottle in each hand.) Bishop: That's sacramental wine! Shellack: (Pause) Then I will say two Hail Mary's for every sip. Bishop: Five. Shellack: Three...
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© 2007, 2015. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.