The Thousand Dollar Man

August 21: I recall previously sharing this one now, after I saved a thousand dollars in 2007. I've recently repeated the achievement. Derrick Groves started life as an ordinary house painter. But by the end of the summer, through a program of strict budgeting, he became the Thousand Dollar Man. (A supermarket checkout) Cashier: Hi there! I see you've chosen brand name waffles over the generic ones. Are you the Thousand Dollar Man? Groves: (Beaming proudly) Glad to be of service. (A park bench. The seated Groves is approached by a ragged stranger.) Stranger: Do you have a light? Groves: Certainly. (He pulls a lighter from his pocket and hands it over. The stranger keeps it continuously lit for the next three minutes, drawing white smoke through a glass tube. After exhaling an immense cloud of smoke, clearly intoxicated, the stranger extends his hand to return the lighter.) Keep it. Stranger: But it's still half full! Groves: That's all right. You need it more than I do. Stranger: You must be the Thousand Dollar Man! Groves: Glad to be of service. (The interior of a public transit vehicle. Groves is approached by two young women.) Woman #1: Excuse me, but are you the Thousand Dollar Man? Groves: How did you know? Woman #1: Those shoes you're wearing look barely a week old. (Drawing from her purse and handing him a small writing utensil.) Can we have your autograph? Groves: Sure, but it might turn out a little crude with this lipstick... Oh... Learn the inestimable value of a dollar with Derrick Groves, the Thousand Dollar Man.
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© 2007, 2015. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.