Pet the Foreigner

Good afternoon, and welcome to Pet the Foreigner, the show-and-tell children's show about geography. And look what our missionaries brought back with them from their last expedition: a real live savage from Timbuktu! (In a plastic pen with a screen door in front, a small, exotically dressed boy sits impatiently.) Of course, he has no name. He has no language except for some kind of gibberish he was yelling in the trunk of the car. But we gave him a shot and he seems to have calmed right down. Would any of the children in our studio audience like to feed the wild boy? How about you? (A girl accepts the invitation.) What's your name? Monica. Well, Monica, here's some carrot sticks and lettuce leaves. I bet our guest is hungry. (The girl sticks her finger through a slot in the screen and pulls it out with a yelp.) He bit me! He bit you? Oh, oh! I guess it's time for another lesson in manners from our friend, Mister Cattle Prod. Would you like to do the honors, Monica? (He hands Monica the prod and she stings the boy with it.) Very good! You should be a paramedic when you grow up. How can I pet him? Do you want to pet him? If you just flip open that hatch on top of his pen, it will activate his head brace. (She swings the hatch open, immobilizing the boy's head against the ceiling of his pen. Children line up behind Monica to have their turn petting the boy as he curses them in his native language.)
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© 2007, 2015. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.