So Much for Levity

There's nothing at all selfless about performers who stole my blogs and used them in their shows and standup routines. This was a selfish act. They took my personality and used it to take my supporters' loyalty so that they could take money for things that I was freely offering on the web. It was totally selfish, on top of being dishonest and manipulative. Did marijuana advocates look up to Bill Maher as one of their leaders? A good leader is selfless. Why do you think Maher went out on his atheist, marijuana smoking campaign? Do you think he was brave and selfless? I think he did it because I did it first with my blogs on the internet. The progress I made with my blogs must have showed him that such a campaign would not only be safe but profitable. And every dollar that went into his pocket for it subtracted from me, to the point where the same fans who enjoyed the words he stole from me looked upon me as their enemy. He took me from them so that he could take my success from me and leave himself looking selfless. As long as we're heading into another Saturday night, let's talk about Austin Powers again. I created this character in a 2006 script. The idea was to have a talk show with amusing guests. The simplest way to make a character amusing is to make him unfit for his calling. A spy is supposed to be discreet and unobtrusive, which is why I made him extroverted and dressed him up like Louis XIV. I also put his defining catch phrase yeah baby in his mouth. Isn't this the whole character? This is what I created and shared from my Blogger account in 2006. And how much money did Mike Myers gross from a trilogy of three blockbuster movies made out of my creation? If you throw in the DVD sales, I bet it's over a billion dollars. A billion dollars for Mike Myers, great. What did I get for this? What would have happened if Myers had solicited my property legally through a lawyer? He could have still had a success, I think, even if he had to mention my name in the authoring credits, only maybe I would have got paid. Do you think Myers is selfless? Even if the cheap prick had offered me a crumby .01 percent of his gross profits, I'd be a million dollars richer right now. Instead, he and his friends left me to live in low rental housing where I face my living conditions with good humor. This spirit of mine shows in scripts like Pestilence Anti-Pest Pellets, The Shot Wall Syringe, and the Roachademy, the Space Suit, and others. And then who turns around and steals those? Oh, Mike Myers's friends! Right. And the public go ahead and buy DVD's of my detractors performing my scripts and I'm left to write more funny dialogues about life in low rental housing. Great. And has anyone turned my statements about the military approach I take to exterminating my numerically superior foe into a stand-up routine? Make sure it's someone who could not bear the 'shame' of having to live in an infected room. And make sure he passes on his hatred of the poor through the popularity of my own personal expressions as a starving artist. In fact, try to get the poor hating themselves with my work, right? What's left for me after these pricks on TV have stolen away all the good feelings I was saving for my supporters? Just sneers and hisses. I would have been better off keeping my good feelings to myself if they were just going to be used to turn my world into a nightmare. I would have actually been happier with nothing from these greedy pricks than with the fucking endless misery they and their fucking broadcasting helpers have imposed on my life for the last eight shitty years. I'm glad I have my eye on a pleasant afterlife because corrupt stars make sure that all heavenly rewards on this planet are reserved for lying, cheating assholes. And before anyone can thank them again for what they did to me, consider this: what if I had been able to supply other actors with my scripts? How do you know you wouldn't have liked their performances better? You weren't given the chance to find out. Your brave stars were too afraid to let you decide such a thing for yourself.
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