Community Spirit

Hello, neighbor! Welcome to Community Spirit! I'm Ray Crankshaft. A good, strong community knows how to deal with outsiders, like those lost tourists who knocked on my door the other day, begging for directions to the hospital. I gave them a bum steer they won't forget - if the bears haven't already finished them off! Heh! Heh! Here in my community, we know we're all good, decent family people because we all spy on each other with hidden cameras and listening devices, and if we catch any peeping Toms, we crucify them in the community newspaper and expel them to the ghetto. The only rumors we allow to spread must first be approved by a fifty-five percent majority of a capacity crowd at our bingo hall. Each community should have its own flag, whose colors match those of the local team's uniforms. Flying this flag should be mandatory, in order that your block balloonist may see that your community boundaries adhere to the outcomes of crucial sports events like our Cereal Bowl. As for community defense, that's where Rex here comes in. (Patting the dog's fierce head) Rex is my Rottweiler. I let him drag me to the park every day by hooking my jeep to an iron chain. It gives his mandibles a good workout. He sure knows how to catch a frisbee. When we're done playing, I collect the remains of the disk in a plastic bag. Thanks to Rex, I never have to pay for my confetti. Don't worry, he's friendly - except for foxes and transients. Seldom do I need my machine gun to protect my property with Rex around. Well, I guess that's enough Community Spirit for this week. For Community Spirit, this is Ray Crankshaft saying, good bye and may the best yards be yours.
Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues Lyrics Poems
More Scripts Statements Songs
© 2015. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.