The Balogne Bulletin

Today on the Balogne Bulletin, the government wants the news media to compile a hit list of conspicuous protesters. If you disagree with the move, we'd like to hear from you. Please include your name and home address with your correspondence. The results are inconclusive in an undercover marketing survey to confirm the precise demand for explicit sexual imagery on the internet. Numerous modem users were interviewed at home by their parents or spouses, at work by their employers, in the classroom by their teachers, even at church by their pastors, and all of them denied having visited any x-rated URL's. A privately funded think tank recommends increased spending on the space program. Figures project that extraterrestrial drilling will soon be necessary to maintain our supply of rocket fuel. In movie theaters, a new documentary called Pax Montana declares America as the new Roman empire with modern pop culture supplanting ancient myths. The film's author and narrator speaks in protracted, thundering syllables and claims to be a god. And as another holiday season approaches, police have redoubled their efforts to apprehend lawbreaking motorists. Only dangerous drivers who pass a strict roadside examination will be tolerated.
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© 2007, 2015. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.