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Today on the Balogne Bulletin, the opening decades of the twenty-first century unveiled a technological milestone as modern mass communications enabled the entire world population to think and act simultaneously for the first time in history. At long last, we can all at once agree that we are deeply dissatisfied. A leading political pundit says that new anti-hate legislation is premature. Without anti-dishonesty legislation to back it up, liars can still get away with hate. 'The future is gamed,' says Clark Ravelston, president of ABNORM: the American Board of Neurotic Obsessions and Ridiculous Misapprehensions. Ravelston insists that super villains from the future have invaded the present with the evil aim of reversing our evolution. He warns that they gravitate towards nondescript, administrative occupations, drive imports, and may be detected by the prophetic accuracy with which they predict wars, disasters and champion thoroughbreds. Doom notwithstanding, gloomy weather may be behind the recent jump in suicides. As one casualty put it in his tragic note: 'I find the rain unbearable now that I am unemployed and divorced.' In sports, a public relations firm placed first in diving and a drunk won the gold medal in weight lifting at the 2015 Armchair Olympics. The victories drew howls of protest from seated spectators who felt more qualified to win those events. |
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| © 2007, 2015. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Saturday, November 21, 2015
The Balogne Bulletin
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